(BACKGROUND)

(Perhaps one of the most famous individual stories in Norse mythology is the death of Baldur, the god of light. It’s one of the first events that will apparently transpire leading up to Ragnarök, the ultimate battle in which many major characters and gods will die. After that, natural disasters will run rampant, and the world will go entirely underwater, only to emerge refreshed, with most of the gods returning to preside over their new world. Back to Baldur– he’s sort of an example of an Achilles heel story that predates Achilles himself. Basically, he gets killed because he has exactly one weakness. Also, because of Loki. I think we all know Loki, at least from seeing The Avengers, so we all know what a malignant dickhole he is. Back in the original mythos, that was just as true, as you will soon see.)

@MotherFrigg: It’s a boy!!!!!!

@OdinaryMan: I am proud to welcome my third (i think) son into the world. his name is Baldur.

@LiteBaldie: #goo

@OdinaryMan: he is such a critical thinker wow

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Congratulations #partypoppers

@LokiOutOfHeaven: but more like #partypoopers amirite

@MotherFrigg: He is the fairest and most gracious and nobody may question his judgement.

@LiteBaldie: so i’m thinking of starting a glam band #shazam #glitter

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Are you kidding me #temptingmutiny

@HodGivenGrace: Buddy, you don’t even live with him #thehorror #saveme #takemybrotherplease

@LokiOutOfHeaven: #iknowthatfeel

@MotherFrigg: I’m starting to have dreams about the death of my son. #oshit

@OdinaryMan: is it Thor

@OdinaryMan: because I’m fairly sure he was supposed to write us by now

@MotherFrigg: I said MY son.

@MotherFrigg: Anyway, he’s just having a play date with Hymir. He wouldn’t just forget to contact us.

@MotherFrigg: I mean, he’s a very responsible young man.

@ThorOfNewHampshire: whoa dude i hooked a gnarly serpent #bestfishingtrip #EVAR

@SurrealistHymir: bro get im w/ ur hammer

@ThorOfNewHampshire: good idea man #bythepowerofgrayskull #imeanvalhalla

@JormungandrDre: #gack

@MotherFrigg: I think.

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Well it would be a sssshame if something were to #happen to him

@LiteBaldie: man what is this dream bout me dying, it’s kinda harshin my cool

@MotherFrigg: Alright, this is too far. I need all of you to promise not to harm Baldur, so that he may not die.

@Pantheon: yeah sure #damn #soclose

@CreaturesOfNature: oh absolutely we won’t ever hurt him oh no

@MissileToto: wat’s going on

@MotherFrigg: Except you, mistletoe. I’ll tell you when you’re older.

@LokiOutOfHeaven: #immunetostuff #exceptoneplant #OPPURTUNITYTAKEN

@HodGivenGrace: Attention, @Pantheon! This Sathorsday is the 1st annual Throwing Shit At Baldur picnic! There will be cake, which will also be thrown. #throwingshitatbaldur

@LokiOutOfHeaven: #DOUBLEOPPURTUNITYCOMBO #IAMAHAPPYMAN

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Yo Hod how do you even see your brother when you’re throwing shit at him

@HodGivenGrace: I can sense annoying little brothers, It’s sort of like echolocation

@LiteBaldie: guys stop being meen 😦

@HodGivenGrace: Yo yo yo shut the fuck up

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Lol nice

@HodGivenGrace: Alright, what do I throw next

@LokiOutofHeaven: I got you bro take this

@HodGivenGrace: Hey thanks, Let’s see how this goes

@LiteBaldie: #gack

@HodGivenGrace: WTF HE’S DEAD

@LokiLoad: Oshit brotha you betta run

@HodGivenGrace: LOKI WHAT THE SHIT, WAS THAT MISTLETOE

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Fuck if i know, man

@OdinaryMan: ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK HOD

@OdinaryMan: CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE

@HodGivenGrace: No Dad, I can’t

@HodGivenGrace: Because I’m blind

@HodGivenGrace: I thought we established that

@OdinaryMan: SHUT UP I’M MAKING A CHILD

@HodGivenGrace: What

@UncannyVali: Hello, I’m Your Newborn Son

@OdinaryMan: KILL THAT MOTHAFUCKA

@UncanyyVali: Can Do, Daddio

@HodGivenGrace: #gack

@MotherFrigg: #boohoohoohoohoohoowoof:(

@HelHathNoFury: Yo imma make a deal with yall

@HelHathNoFury: If erryone o ya cries manly tears for mah man baldie then he comes back to life

@MotherFrigg: #BOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOBARKGROWL

@HelHathNoFury: See now friggys startin ya off strong

@OdinaryMan: alright people try not to fuck this up

@ThokkOff: #no

@OdinaryMan: ARE YOU SERIOUS

@ThokkOff: #eeyup

@OdinaryMan: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN

@ThokkOff: #imthokk

@OdinaryMan:#MEDAMMIT

@HelHathNoFury: Welp so much for that im out

@ThokkOff: #S #u #c #k #e #r #s.

@OdinaryMan: wait

@OdinaryMan: #fuckingargh

@OdinaryMan: LOKI IS THAT YOU

@LokiOutOfHeaven: #Mayyyyybe

@OdinaryMan: #MOTHERFUCKER

@LokiOutOfHeaven: Lol u mad bro

@ThorOfNewHampshire: hey sup im home broskis

@ThorOfNewHampshire: whooooooaaa dud what da fuck happened in here

@ThorOfNewHampshire: smells grody man

@ThorOfNewHampshire: o yeah i brought fish